Jahzeel Paguntalan (2015-2016 SPCN Executive Producer) on the 39th Annual SPCN

by Jahzeel Paguntalan

Editor’s Note: Melo has invited one of her former students from Introductory Filipino, Jahzeel Paguntalan, to share his reflections on leading this year’s Samahang Pilipino Cultural Night (SPCN) as the Executive Director. A graduating senior majoring in B.S. Microbiology, Immunology, and Molecular Genetics (MIMG), Jahzeel has excelled academically (even engaging in biomedical research at Columbia University and here at UCLA) and engaged in campus organizations, such as the UCLA Symphony Orchestra and Samahang Pilipino. We congratulate Jahzeel and the rest of the SPCN performers and behind-the-scenes staff for another fabulous show! And GOOD LUCK to Jahzeel and other amazing Bruins graduating this year!!!

Source: Jahzeel Paguntalan

It’s actually quite difficult for me to write a description for this profile picture of mine for many reasons, but here goes my attempt at doing so! This is probably going to be a long one, so I applaud you if you go through the whole thing 😀

When I was growing up, I never allowed myself the chance to truly experience nor explore my culture all that much. The thought of learning the language from where my parents came from barely crossed my mind. When it came time to eating Filipino food, I always gave my parents a hard time because I chose to not eat meat; I would always just go for the “sabaw” and mix it with rice or just completely dismiss it altogether. I failed to appreciate the times I would go vacationing in the Philippines and visit historical places or family members I had never seen before. And I always had a hard time expressing myself because I thought that strength came from exuding resilience towards any situation I was put in and that I can handle it. But I also never had the slightest inclination that I would involve myself in something like Samahang Pilipino Cultural Night (SPCN) during my undergraduate career.

Coming to UCLA, all I had on my mind was to be that stellar student I believed my parents wanted and to focus on my future career as a healthcare professional. With all of these “forms” of neglecting my own culture, it seems almost impossible for me to be where I am with this production. But because of Vietnamese Cultural Night 2013 and a 1st-year floormate who brought me to my very first SPCN Run-Thru, I was able to integrate myself into the whole cultural night craze…and the rest was history.

My four years of being involved in SPCN has taught me so much about myself that I never knew before. Each year was different and had its own challenges, but they also contained those moments that made me reflect on and realize why I was a part of this production I call home so often. Because of SPCN, I consciously chose to enroll myself into the Filipino Language class here at UCLA. Granted I still cannot speak it well, but I can at least understand my native tongue to a better degree. Maybe it was because I was on the other side of the country for college, but I developed a profound enjoyment for meat and Filipino food. SPCN has also taught me the importance of familial relationships, even with those individuals whom I didn’t know before. Between four different casts, three unique committees, two years of being in the Traditionalist suite, and once being a dance co-coordinator, I formed relationships with all the people that I’ve met and am proud to call them family. And lastly, SPCN has shown me that strength is not purely dictated by putting up a front to hide behind. It’s the moments where you allow yourself to be vulnerable‪#‎jahfeels‬ that creates a bond of trust that is stronger than anything else.

With this year’s script, Beyond These Walls, the priceless value of culture is put to the test against different obstacles (trying not to give too much away). I feel like I have unfortunately been doing just that my entire life until now, where I know that this crucial part of one’s identity should not be ignored. And words cannot even begin to describe how excited I am to show you, the audience, what I have dedicated my last year of college to. I hope I make you proud Mom, Celso Paguntalan, and Ai Lema. Finally, you get to see what I’ve been talking about all these years.

Despite my facial expression in this picture, I am filled with both immense joy and regret to be UCLA’s 2015-2016 Samahang Pilipino Cultural Night Coordinator. Of course I am thrilled to have had the honor to carry out the work of 38 other years of legacy with 31 individuals I can call my “home away from home”, but I also think about the things that I could have done with my position to make SPCN more than just a production. But that’s the amazing thing about SPCN: the efforts of previous years are kept alive but those succeeding. So here’s to the 40th annual Samahang Pilipino Cultural Night: it’ll be one heck of a ride, but use your passion and love for this space, as well as each other to make your memorable production a reality.

There really is no way I can ever fully repay SPCN for all that it has given me, but thank you for making my college experience worth going through. To those who are the past, present, and future of SPCN, this is for you.

Jahzeel Paguntalan
39th Annual Samahang Pilipino Cultural Night | Executive Producer and SPCN Coordinator 2016

PC: Derek Estrella
Thanks for bringing me to Parking Lot 4, Level 1 three years ago.